Have you ever wondered where your belief and behaviours have come from?
We do the things we do for a reason and if we can understand why, we can then look at how we’re going to change them if they’re not helping us anymore.
Let’s start by looking at how we form our beliefs which then lead to behaviours.
Have you ever seen the Pixar movie, Inside Out? It is a great movie for both kids and adults alike, and it beautifully shows you how beliefs and behaviours are created and why we respond to the ways we do to certain things.
Research has shown us that in the first seven years of a child’s life, a whole chunk of core beliefs and behaviours are formed. Those early years are extremely formative, because we are little sponges that are taking in all the things that are going on all around us from people that we care about, and those people that are in a position of influence – our parents, caregivers, guardians, grandparents, older siblings, teachers, family, friends, group leaders etc etc.
We look up to them both physically and metaphorically as children, and we’re continuously noticing and absorbing behaviours of those around us and the way that those people are functioning in the world. This is more commonly known as conditioning.
I want you to just think for a moment of a belief that you hold strongly, a belief that could be either working for you or it could be really unhelpful for you in your life, and you’ll know that this is a strongly held belief because when somebody does something to question or compromise that belief, you’ll resist, and you will stand firm.
In some cases, you may find it very difficult to see a world without that belief in it and maybe can’t even understand why everybody doesn’t believe what you believe.
“Why does everyone feel this way? Surely everyone should feel the same way about this?”
Let me share a personal example with you.
I was taught from a very early age that being late to something is completely unacceptable, and that it’s hugely disrespectful. So, when I would find myself late for reasons out of my control, I hate it!
For those of you that share the same belief, imagine you are stuck in traffic, you are supposed to be somewhere and you aren’t going to get there in time; you may notice that you have this horrible, uncomfortable feeling in your body that goes into your mind, even though it was unavoidable and it wasn’t your fault. It’s going to feel very uncomfortable.
My dad ground this into me and my siblings. You just don’t be late. In fact, we are the family that gets to the airport four hours early just in case something unavoidable comes along.
Just in case.
Now, this belief personally doesn’t affect my life in a negative way. I am happy to live this way. It’s something I can’t ever see me wanting to change.
I also know that if I’m with somebody that is notorious at being late, I have to work on my own dialogue because that’s their story, not mine.
My husband’s family aren’t the best timekeepers in comparison to mine, and I’ve had to work on not taking it personally, because that noise in my head saying “It’s disrespectful if you show up late” is mine, so I rarely get offended, because it’s nothing to do with me.
It’s a difference of beliefs and behaviours.
Beliefs are not set in stone. They aren’t fact, and you’re not born with them. The only thing that we are born with as human beings is the fear of being on our own.
A belief is simply a repeated statement or behaviour that we’ve witnessed and heard over a regular and reoccurring period of time, to the point that we form that belief as our own. We didn’t make a conscious decision to do it. It was an unconscious choice, and when we know this, we can become aware of the beliefs that are holding us back and why they’re preventing us from achieving our goals.
Knowledge is power.
If we unconsciously adopted these beliefs, we absolutely can un-adopt them if we decide that they’re not helping us and holding us back.
Think about the beliefs that you have in your life that are currently holding you back and start to ponder on the origin of them, where do you think they came from?
Whose voice do you hear in your head when you are holding firm on one of your beliefs?
The good news is we don’t have to be aware of where they originated from. We don’t have to know where or why you behave in a certain way to create change.
Once you recognize that these beliefs and behaviours aren’t serving you any longer or helping you to move forward in your life in a way that you desire, you can create the changes you want to see in your life.
I want you to start by getting curious as to how your life would look if you believed things to be different or behaved in a different way. If you change that pattern of behaviour, what would it look like? How would life be better for you?
How could life look different for you if you changed your beliefs and behaved in different ways?
I would love to hear from you, why not come over to my fabulous FREE WhatsApp community HERE and join the conversation
Have a great day,